Deja-vu

 

We’ll all know the meaning of Deja-vu of course. It is when you feel that you lived a situation before...but I don't mean it like that...it is complicated you know...can't find an appropriate title for what am going to say later... 
You know when things happen the same way they did before?!  I am talking mysteriously I know but I will try to simplify it and deliver my idea to you... 
You know when things that happened on this same day happened last year?!  In the same exact way like you are living them again with few differences.... like it was the same day of the Oscars that u had a fight with your beloved?! Or it was the same day let us say Tuesday that you had a gap between your lectures or your courses so you used to spend them in a specific place that u still go to this year?!  You know when things go in a way that reminds of you of what happened before.... Not necessarily a year but I mean when it comes to compare you always look back to who you were a year ago... And how much things changed...and you wonder what would it be if things occurred differently!!!  
I know I seem confused and off the point or something...but the fact is that I don't know what to say!!  It is like history repeats itself in a way to remind me of things I wanted to forget!!  And it doesn't end and the fact is that I can't just stop you know... Someone might ask me so why do I go to the same place that reminds if the things I want to forget...and I would tell then I don't know...it feels like am attracted to that place too much cause it had great memories that I always want to remember although things are not the same as they were and it hurts a lot but I try to just look on the bright side and remember the good parts of life and relive then again....it is crazy I know... But my mind is a twisted place it is just trying to cope with life because it can't accept the fact of how things have changed.   People who I lost, fights, disappointments and all the things that I just can't face anymore!! It feels weak and pathetic I know but we all do that right?!  
And the hard part about this Deja-vu is that every place, every song, every movie, every anything will remind you of the past in a glimpse and you can do nothing about it.... So, it is either to dwell on it and keep hurting or you relive it inside of your mind and trick yourself that you are okay!!!